My letter to God..

Dear God,

Many emotions have been going through me here in the past 2 months. I don't even know what some of them are. But I know you have a plan for me God. I trust that you know exactly where I am going and what my purpose in life is. Oh God, please help me to build my faith in you every day that I wake up and please continue to lift me up in all moments of discouragment. You and I both know that times are hard for everyone and that we all are struggling to make ends meet but God, I trust in you to help provide me with what I need. I know that you will take care of me and that you will protect me and my family. God, I gave my self to you and I know that you let your only Son die on that cross for my sins so that I may have a better life. Please, God, walk me through my everyday life, help me with my patience, help me help others get back home to you. Please let me continue to grow with everything that I learn and with my relationships with everyone I run into. God, you have already touched my life more than I will ever know and I want everyone to be this way. Please help me trust you with each passing day. Please God, help James and I raise our daughter to know you, to love you, to worship you, the way that we do. God, I know that I am not perfect and that I never will. I know that I do not desevre your mercy but that you have saved me. I am going to make my way back to you God, and even if the Devil tries his best to beat me down and not believe, I know that you will help me chase him away. God, you are my life. You help me everyday, and while I haven't been the best Christian in the world here I know you forgive me. I know that if I ever have any questions that you have provided my church family that help answer those questions. Thank you God for everything I have in my life. God, I love you. ---- Amen

These past few days..

Well, as I am sure most of you read my blog a couple days ago. We were going through a very rough patch and we still are. I prayed to God and just put it in His hands and I trusted Him. really trusted Him to help us get through this. Now, I don't trust to easy but I didn't know what else to do. He really came through for us. Putting everything in His hands and not worry about what was going on made our loves a lot simpler. He knows what He is doing. He knows when we have had enough and we can't take any more pressure. He helps us get through it. I truely believe that since we gave Him our trust He in return showed us that He is real and can be trusted.

What to do?

I have been at my current job for almost 18 months. From January 2008 until August 2008 I worked 40 hours a week for almost every single week. I fought and fought with my employer to give me the full time status and for all that time they continued to tell me that there weren't any full time postions available. So I told them to cut my hours down to part time hours. 2 weeks after that, my employer came up to me and offered me an assisitant manager position, which was full time. But there was no telling when I would move into that position. So I declined. Then we got a new manager and he was unaware of all of this that had happen. I love our new manager. He is very nice and full of faith, in both what I do and God himself. I feel very blessed to have this manager in my life. But now he keeps pushing me to go full time. And James and I are trying to get pregnant with our 2nd child. (My 1st pregnancy did not go so smoothly. I had to take a leave of absence from my job.) And I would hate to take the full time position and then the very next month have to take a leave of absence because I was so sick. How come things seem to land in your lap at the most inappropriate times. I need to do some praying.

My first prayers...

Well, last night was the first night ever that I have prayed. I wasn't quite sure how to do it but I just put my whole heart into it and I felt Him. This morning, when I woke up I prayed again to Him. When I prayed this morning I asked Him to give me patience. Then I went into my email and had seen that I had 6 emails from the same person. So I randomly picked one of the emails and it just happen to be about patience. To me, that is deffiantley a sign from Him. I hope everyday that goes by I learn more and more from Him.