Just another day

So today was just another day. Woke up, did a little grocery shopping, went to go spend a little time with Carly then went to work.

The day had gone fine up to the point when I had to go to work. And really work was fine until I found out who the closing manager was. Let's just say that this guy is a year younger than me and has that holier than thou attitude. Well, I did really well up to the point where I asked him to do a simple task for me. He told me no that I could do it. So I didn't argue and just did it. I came back up front and he is still standing there and then asks "See... That wasn't that hard was it?" Now he was really starting to tick me off. A little while later he came back up front and asked me for a particular report. I told him that all the reports were already done, that I had taken care of it anyways. He said he still wanted to see it. Ok fine. I bring it to him to see it. Then this is where I lost my cool. He said and these were his words exactly "Woman! When I ask for something you better bring it."

Now let me explain something to you. The only person in this world that can call me woman is my hubby and it had better be in the right tone of voice. I completely lost my cool. I won't going into detail as to what I said because I am not proud of it but I think I got my point accross. I just get so tired of sexism. It is crazy!

So I get off of work and come home and I was just going to post this first part on here but I read a friend of mine blog. It really knocked my socks off. Maybe this is God's way for me to start understanding were other people are coming from. Or maybe this is a way for me to reach out to these people. This guy is obviously crying out for attention to be talking to me in that manner. Maybe he hasn't meet Jesus Christ yet and God is trying to use me to show him who Jesus is. I don't know. But reading my friends blog really just has my eyes open to my surroundings. My eyes were only on myself before and while that is ok maybe I need to branch out and open my eyes to what is around.

I have been praying for a while for God to guide me in the direction I need to go next but I haven't been letting Him show me. I want an easy answer to my prayers but that just isn't the case because then I wouldn't appreciate it. I am not good at being patient but maybe if I develop that ability then maybe He will start allowing me to see where I need to go.

All I ever wanted

All I ever wanted was to have a wonderful loving and compassionate set of friends and family who really understand who I am and what I am worth. I can't choose my family but thank God He gave me my family. But I can choose my friends.

I am 25 years old and in high school I had a good bunch of friends. We went to each others houses, we would road trip to Myrtle Beach, go to the mall.... all kinds of things. As high school ended we all went our different ways. Since then, I have tried to find a new set of friends to do the same types of things with. Chit chat sessions, sisters to grow with. It is very hard to travel this road of life without a group of sisters. And it is so hard to find a group of sisters that will not judge or pressure you.


Since high school, I have had "friends" that were not good friends. I have been burned so many times with my "sisters" that it is hard to trust again. It is like if you have ever been in a relationship and you get cheated on and find out. Not a great feeling. Something you have to push through and move on from but then you get into another relationship that is the exact same thing. IT SUCKS. That is what I have been dealing with. It hurts and it isn't fair. It is time for me to weed out all the bad and surround myself with the good people in my life.

A person can only give so much before the rope breaks. My rope had broken and now it is time for me to piece it back together. I refuse to go through these fake motions anymore. It's not fait to me or my family.

At a crossroad

I find myself at crossroad right now. A fork in the road. I can go left or right but both directions are going to change my life forever. My heart is heavy and has been for quit some time now. I am tired and feel alone. Lonliness has really been showinf its ugly head latley now that I have no vehicle. I am finding myself thinking about what is real in my life. What is fake and what I need to purge out of my life. I know which way I need to go at this fork in the road but I am afraid to go that way.

It is a scary path. One that I have to walk on alone. I never asked for this choice that I have to make. Never wanted to make this choice. But I have too. I have spent many nights latley thinking about my choices and neither one of them I am happy with but I cannot continue to stand still like I have been over the past 4 months. I am not happy with the way things have been going so I am going to start overhauling my life. Some major changes are about to happen. Some of you already know what I am talking about while others of you have no clue. But it is going to be ok. I will be ok. As long as I have my family beside me to continue my walk I know I will be taken care of.

Sometimes things happen for a reason that you know of. Sometimes it makes no sense. I have been at this fork in the road for so long now, on my knees asking God which way to go. Finally He has showed me what is the right path for me. He has showed me that is not going to be easy or fun but when I get to the end of it, I will be happier.


I will be happier. I have faith and trust in that. I will be happy.