Misunderstandings & Mixed Blessings

When I first started going to church I met this wonderful couple and they helped guide us back to Christ. They are very nice people and we love them very much. At the same time that we were finding Christ, other things were going on in our lives and just conviently things started to fall into place. But as soon as we got baptized something seemed to change.


We had situations come up where we weren't able to come to church. James had the opportunity to take another position in his company and the Devil started messing with our relationships. And let me tell you, Satan is suceeding very well at trying to tear our relationships.

Not only is he toying with our friendships, Satan is toying with our emotions.

We ended getting pregnant and finding out on Christmas Day. We were so excited! We were trying to have a second baby and finally God had decided it was our time. We told everyone and I made my dr appointment but something just didn't feel right. I had a feeling like something was wrong. But I didn't know what it was.

Well, on January 8, 2008 at 8:30AM I miscarried. This has been the hardest thing oue family has ever been through. I went through and am still going through a whirlwind of emotions.

First, I cried. And cried and cried and cried. I did that for the almost 4 hours. After that 4 hours period and some very good drugs, I became numb. I just didn't feel anything. I knew what had happen but I just didn't know what to do.

Then, around 8pm January 9, 2008 I became angry. I was very pissed off with God for doing this to me. It isn't fair and why did this happen to me. This stage didn't last very long.

Now as I sit here at 1:25am on January 10, 2008 I am sad. Not only because I have lost the life of my baby but I feel as if I am losing one of my sisters. One of my dear friends who I love very deeply. I know that things have been hectic for all of us now but I don't want to lose a sister.

With all of this I am sure there are going to be plenty more tears, lots of hugs and in the end I hope He will help us figure everything else. Give us a healthy baby and to give me my sister back.

Although all of this awfulness has been happening, something good has come from all of this. I gained another sister. We were friends before all of this happen but now I see her as a sister. She has been here through my whole miscarriage and I am very greatful for her!


Love you all and thank you for the continued prayers and support.

And the weekend ends... Bad.

It is Sunday night and I am so upset. James and I have had a decent weekend. Yesterday was good. Today was ok up til 5pm. We got a knock at our door arounf that time and I was in the middle of cutting up some potatoes to make some homemade potato chips. So James picked Carly up and answered the door. We thought it might be has mom since she was supposed to come over tonight. James went outside and he was out there for a while. So I thought maybe it was a door-to-door sales person, so I was going to go rescue him. I go to the door and walk outside and to my surprise it isn't either one of those people. It was one of James' old "friends".

Maybe I should explain why this man is so awful. About 18 months ago, James transferred over to day shift and meet this man. I was excited for him to begin with because he was making friends. Well, the more James and him hung out and got together, the more this man would make inappropriate comments towards me. This man is very sexist and thinks women are only good for 2 things (I will let you figure that out.) He even taught his 4 year old to slap my bottom and say "sexy." Very inappropriate. This man was married and his wife and I would talk on the phone every now and then. She has 3 kids from a previous relationship and 1 child with him. Well, about 8 months ago they "won" airline tickets and asked us to sell them for them on ebay. Well, long story short they lied to us and we ended up losing our ebay account and oweing people $600.00. Then 4 months ago this man "quit" his job, packed everything up and took off with 2 of the kids without telling his wife where he was going. So esentially he kidnapped them.

When this all happend I cut ties with both of them and I asked James to do the same. I just didn't want anything to happen to Carly or us. So when this man popped up out of the blue today (with another woman I should mention) I was furious. I went outside grabbed Carly and came back in the house. 15 minutes later James was STILL out there talking to him. So I politley stuck my head out the door and told James his mom was on her way over. 10 minutes after that he was STILL out there so I knocked on the door and thats when he came inside.

James asked why I was so mad and I had to remind him about the whole ordeal. I know James didn't mean any harm but I just can't trust this other man. He makes me feel very uncomfortable. So James sent him an email tonight telling him to not have contact with us again.
I just hope I don't see him again.