I am so tired...

Why is it that when things seem to be right on track, something goes wrong and you get dropped on your back?

What a loaded question. I have always asked this question and never quite understood why I wasn't recieving the answer to my question. I still ask this question sometimes when things get really bad. Well.... Things are really bad.

Now usually, it is finaical issues that we have that makes things bad. Don't get me wrong we are still living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes we have to choose between food and diapers but we make ends meet somehow. This time the thing that has made things bad is a threat from one of my hubby's co workers.

And what gets me is that this threat wasn't just one of those "I am going to kick your butt" threats. This was a "I am going to kill you and your family threat." Yes, those were the words I was told except from what I was told there were a few more choice words in there that do not need to be repeated. Why would you threaten to kill someone for? Now I am scared to freaking death. Not necissarily for my own safety but for my baby girls. She doesn't even know this guy. I don't even know him. So I don't even know where to go with this. This guy is not onw to joke around either. James said he is very short tempered and has been known to throw drinks back in waitresses faces. So yeah.... I am scared.

But through all this, I was driving home from picking Carly up today and had my radio tuned to Klove when a song came on that I hadn't heard in years. When I was young my family and I would watch Touched By An Angel and I loved that show! On one of the episodes, there was a boy who has Cystic Fibriosis. His mother had started writing a song for him when he was born and never finished it. That was his one wish, for her to finish that song. Well, that song is called "Testify To Love". This song makes me cry everytime I hear it. I feel God talking to me when I hear this song and I just start singing this song at the top of my lungs. All of a sudden, I just had this over coming sense of calm. I kow everything is going to be ok. I am just going to put in Gods hands. He will not let anything happen to us that is not suppose to happen. We are just going to have to pray that this guy is just blowing off some steam.

If you aren't familar with this song here is a link you can go to to take a listen.
http://www.lyrics.com/index.php/artists/lyric/avalon-p-200249-lyrics-testify-to-love-t-13659635

Love you all!

5 years ago

5 years ago today I married my man of my dreams. He was sweet, charming and loving and took very good care of me. Fast forward 5 years and this man is even better. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love him. James has been one of the greatest influences in my life (although at times I have to wonder....) and I can't imagine my life without him.

We have been together for a total of 7 years and out of those 7 years not once had we been to church together up to this past couple weeks. We have done more with our relationship over these past 4 weeks than we have in the 7 years we have been together. We have found God and have meet a few couples that really inspire us to be better people. We went on a marriage retreat and while we got eaten up by mesquitos we learned a lot about ourselves and God. We were never the "Church going" people. We had been turned off to several religions/churches for all kinds of reasons but when we found Southside, we know that God had guided us in the right direction.

God, please help us in continueing to make our relationship blossom day by day. Please let us continue to learn more about each other each day. God, would you please help us get to know you better, love you more each day and help us raise our daughter to know you the way we want to. Please help us continue to grow our relationships with our faithful friends. We know that we are not perfect people and we never can be but help us in teaching us how you want us to be. God we love you and we thank you for keeping us together through everything we have been through together and for helping us stay together for everything to come.

These past few days..

Well, as I am sure most of you read my blog a couple days ago. We were going through a very rough patch and we still are. I prayed to God and just put it in His hands and I trusted Him. really trusted Him to help us get through this. Now, I don't trust to easy but I didn't know what else to do. He really came through for us. Putting everything in His hands and not worry about what was going on made our loves a lot simpler. He knows what He is doing. He knows when we have had enough and we can't take any more pressure. He helps us get through it. I truely believe that since we gave Him our trust He in return showed us that He is real and can be trusted.

Going through a rough patch

Sometimes you wonder what or how you got into situations that you are in. Why is stuff always happening to us for? I still think that sometimes but the difference now is that I pray for the reasons. We had something absolutley awful happen to us this week. Both of us were very very very upset. At first, we blamed God. I know that is not the right thing to do but it is natural for us. Then we remembered that God does not allow more to happen to us than we can handle. So we prayed on it. GOd answered our prays and while we are still in very bad situation we know that if we continue to pray and allow Him to take over things ARE going to get better. Everything happens for a reason right?

I awoke this morning...

not knowing what exactly to expect. My heart had already belonged to God but today was the day for me to publicly announce it to the world. Now, I have never been baptized. I have never seen anyone get baptized before. This was going to be a brand new experiance for me. I had just found out yesterday that James was going to get baptized with me. That was so awesome. We only get 1 chance to get baptized together and I am so glad that he decided to go with me. This was one of the best things that ever happen to me in my life. I went first and Derik had talked all of us through the baptism before it started. Then the video screen wouldn't go up. It was a little funny because no one could figure out why. So 2 other guys came back and held the screen up while we were getting baptized. Today is a day I will deffanitly remember for the rest of my life. My life is changed now. When I woke up this morning, I had 2 sisters and 1 brother. Now, I have a whole congregation of brothers and sisters that accept us as there own flesh and blood. It was all a little overwheleming because at the end of the sermon, all of us that were baptized were asked to step to the front to recieve our certificates of baptisms. As we were getting those certificates everyone stepped up to us and gave us hugs and congratualted us. We both felt like we belonged. Thanks to all my new found brothers and sisters for making us feel welecome and I hope to get to know all of you better.

Feeling down...

Over these past 3 days I have been pretty sick. It has taken all my energy to wake up and get to work. I get home and I go straight to bed. I have not spent anytime in my Bible and I am so tired when I get home that I can't even get the energy to pray. I am feeling very upset about this but I know God is watching over me. I listen to K-Love everyday on my way to and from work. I just don't want to turn into one of those people that are constantly coming up with excuses on why I am pushing him away. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

A Life-Changing Moment

We went to church again today and we were a little more comfortable today. We both had just gone to the Marriage Retreat and meet a lot of new couples who we got to know a little better. While we were at service today, Pastor Kelly asked us to bow our heads in prayer and asked us to come to the alter for specific reasons. And to be honest, I didn't think I would be one of those people to get up and kneel in front of the whole congregation and ask God for help. Well, while we were praying I got this jolt of emotion. It overcame me and poured over my heart. And I knew that was the Holy Spirit encoraging me to go up to the alter and ask Jesus to help me find my way. I started to cry with emotion and that moment was the best moment I have felt in a long time. I didn't know what to do with myself. So James and I went and kneeled up front and I prayed harder for Him to continue to help me along this journey. I know He will. I will find my way back to Him.