So I just read a friends blog and her blog was about a devotional that we both recieved. It was about how all of us are still newborns in many ways with God.
I thought it was a wake up call to me as well. These past 2 months have been, to be honest with you, some of the hardest times in my life. I don't trust people very easily and now I am having to trust someone I can't even see? That takes guts.
I am like a newborn so much when it comes to God. I am becoming so discouraged in my path to find peace with Him. I feel like I am wondering off the lighted path that He has shown me and I
am falling more and more closer to the Devil. I hate that I getting off the lighted path that God has shown me. It hurts me but in the same way, isn't it easier sometimes for us to take the path that Satan wants us too? I mean Satan knows what it is we want, or what our weaknesses are.
Lately, Satan has been telling me things that are very hard for me not to believe. For example, I am having a very hard time with our Sunday School class. Every week I go, I get more and more discouraged because I do not understand what is being talked about 3/4 of the time. So Satan is urging me to quit going to the class. He is telling me to stop wasting my time, that it isn't worth it. And I am starting to listen. I don't want to ask questions in the class and look/sound like an idiot because I don't know who Issaih is (or Mark or John or any of those people). So wouldn't be easier for me to quit? That's what Satan wants. He wants me to fail. I don't want to fail though, but I don't want to keep getting confused.
Another example, I used to be really good about reading my Bible and praying everyday. Now I never pray and I pick up my Bible maybe twice a week. I keep finding excuses for not doing it. I am so busy with my jobs and with Carly and now the holidays. Isn't the saying that "If Satan can't make you bad than he will make you busy." Well he sure is doing a good job at this because I am so busy. I don't even have the energy to make dinner.
As I slip farther and farther away from the lighted path, I feel that my relationships with my new friends are growing farther and farther a part. I don't want to be one of those 2 faced people. I do believe in God and I know that Jesus dies on the cross for all my sins. I love God and Jesus and The Holy Spirit. I can just feel myself slipping away.
But I am not one to give up on a fight. I know that everyone goes through periods of questioning if what they believe is right. I just have to find my way back onto the lighted path. Baby steps. That is all God is asking for right?
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2 comments:
dear friend... **hugs**
discouragement is totally the devil. we are both discouraged but for different reasons and at different points right now.
I will do what I can to soothe some of your concerns/worries but ultimately --- that is what faith is all about. Is having faith that God will work things out. having faith that God will reveal Himself to you more and more eventually. being content to wait for answers. Having faith that it's okay to have questions, concerns and worry.
as far as class --- it's not the end all be all - you can stop going to that class if you want. it is no judge at all of our spiritual maturity --- BUT I do think in the end it will be really really great for ALL of us. It is meant to be a foundations class --- the foundations of our beliefs. When we get past this bible section, I think you all will enjoy it more -- stick with it. I am sorry that we are going too fast and not recognizing your discouragement. I didn't know. you're just at a huge learning curve right now --- but you don't have to be discouraged -- I learn from everybody -- and a lot in there know a ton more than I do -- I just learn from everybody ya know? even bits and pieces here and there are great to pick up. the only way we learn is by listening, absorbing, writing down questions, asking questions.... BUT don't go just because I say --- you figure out what's best for you.... if you feel that you can't be not discouraged unless you don't go - then don't go.
don't you see what is so beautiful about your post though? You have no idea how far you have come in such a VERY VERY SHORT TIME! Do you realize Dawn the faith you have and the knowledge the Spirit has revealed to you has been so incredible these past weeks. re-read your post. the biggest thing that stuck out to me are 2 things actually.
1 -- yes! baby steps!
2 -- you are recognizing where you are getting off track. WOW that is powerful!!! Do you know how long it takes most people to be able to see that? you are in tune with the Spirit enough that you hear Him convicting you of areas you need to allow Him to work with you on. When the Spirit does this --- it's a gentle nudge --- it is NOT a guilt trip. it is NOT condemntation or to burden you... it's to help you/guide you/ prepare you for what's coming. If the nudging makes you feel discouraged & brings you down --- guess who that is? the devil! and you recognized his tactics for what they are!!!
NOw that you recognize him -- tell him to flee!!! Resist him. Resist the discouragement!!
Right now I command the devil to totally leave us. Listen to me devil, you have NO place in our hearts, in our minds, in our homes. You don't like that Dawn chose Christ -- but guess what - she did! So in the name of Jesus we totally rebuke you and whatever control you think you have. Jesus is more powerful than you will ever dream of and we believe in Him and we believe He is in us. We absolutely believe He will protect us and make us strong and make us faithful and give us hope and you can not keep us down. We will choose to believe in Him and His power to build us up.
The Bible tells us the devil (thief) comes ONLY to steal, kill, destroy (john 10:10) --- but opposite of that - Jesus came for us to LIVE to be free to be complete to be built up.
Whose voice are you listening to?
we can't listen to the wrong voice -- when you hear that voice - cover it up with SOMETHING -- a verse, worship music, SOMETHING
BUT the best part to me Dawn is that there is NOTHING you can do that you will ever "slip away" completely from the Great Shepherd --- you don't have to worry about that I know that for sure. the Bible tells us that once we choose Christ and His Spirit is in us --- like you and I do have in us then, "38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." romans 8:38-39 which Derik shared with you all when you accepted Jesus.
pretty awesome stuff. He will never let us stray again out of His reach.
love ya lots
Dawn,
I completely understand what you mean about becoming discouraged. It is easy to give into the temptation because of not understanding things the way you *think* that you should when it comes to the bible.
Trust me, I am not keen on a lot of things regarding the bible myself, and I do become discouraged because those around me seem to be better educated about the bible than I, but as time passes by I do find myself surprising myself with a little more knowledge here and there when it does come to biblical things.
In the end, when overcoming some of the hardest obstacles, the rewards after overcoming those hard times are so totally worth it. Reward meaning the awesome feeling of doing something that you thought not possible of yourself!
The devil most definitely tries to sway us in different directions. Be strong!
Just remember, some people have grown up going to church, and have had more time than people like you and I who have more recently just begun to learn all there is to know about God's word from the bible.
As long as you feel God in your heart and soul, I think that's what truly matters at this point. (Or at least I am speaking for myself) Don't give up! :)
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