When I first started going to church I met this wonderful couple and they helped guide us back to Christ. They are very nice people and we love them very much. At the same time that we were finding Christ, other things were going on in our lives and just conviently things started to fall into place. But as soon as we got baptized something seemed to change.
We had situations come up where we weren't able to come to church. James had the opportunity to take another position in his company and the Devil started messing with our relationships. And let me tell you, Satan is suceeding very well at trying to tear our relationships.
Not only is he toying with our friendships, Satan is toying with our emotions.
We ended getting pregnant and finding out on Christmas Day. We were so excited! We were trying to have a second baby and finally God had decided it was our time. We told everyone and I made my dr appointment but something just didn't feel right. I had a feeling like something was wrong. But I didn't know what it was.
Well, on January 8, 2008 at 8:30AM I miscarried. This has been the hardest thing oue family has ever been through. I went through and am still going through a whirlwind of emotions.
First, I cried. And cried and cried and cried. I did that for the almost 4 hours. After that 4 hours period and some very good drugs, I became numb. I just didn't feel anything. I knew what had happen but I just didn't know what to do.
Then, around 8pm January 9, 2008 I became angry. I was very pissed off with God for doing this to me. It isn't fair and why did this happen to me. This stage didn't last very long.
Now as I sit here at 1:25am on January 10, 2008 I am sad. Not only because I have lost the life of my baby but I feel as if I am losing one of my sisters. One of my dear friends who I love very deeply. I know that things have been hectic for all of us now but I don't want to lose a sister.
With all of this I am sure there are going to be plenty more tears, lots of hugs and in the end I hope He will help us figure everything else. Give us a healthy baby and to give me my sister back.
Although all of this awfulness has been happening, something good has come from all of this. I gained another sister. We were friends before all of this happen but now I see her as a sister. She has been here through my whole miscarriage and I am very greatful for her!
Love you all and thank you for the continued prayers and support.
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2 comments:
If you're talking about me --- no worries girl. You're not losing me! We are connected for life and because we ARE sisters, like you said, a little time apart won't kill our bond. I promise that we will have seasons in our life when we won't be able to get together as much as we want, etc. but we are bonded because of what brought us together and no matter how much time we spend together - that bond won't be broken.
I pray for you every day. Ever since I met you, you have been on my prayer list. You are a very special couple to us! I am sorry all this happened and I am so so so thankful Nisi was there for you - God is so good! Love ya,
Hey Mama! I hope you know that I am here for you and even though we have not become very close I feel close to you through Christ and through our shared friendship with Randi. Please know that you can contact me at any time, especially during this time of loss. I truly know your feelings and emotions and would love to help you process them. I love you and pray for you.
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