So I am starting to think that maybe I might be the problem in all of my friendships that I have.
No seriously. I am one person to say that I don't like drama and BS and all of that but it seems here lately that I am looking for it. I am looking for a reason to cause problems and I am saying things that are hurtful and mean and it just doesn't make sense.
All my life, I have been the nurturer. People come to me for comforting when they have problems and just need a laugh. I loved helping people out. At one point I even considered being some kind of doctor.
But ever since October, things have started chaging. I have become spitful and hateful. I have become very untrusting and thinking that people are after me.
I used to be able to read people very well. But now... I don't know. I want me back. I want the old Dawn back. But what can I do? I don't know what has come over me here latley. How do I go from such an easy, going nice and loving person to a hateful, mean, unloving person. Is that even possible?
Or is it that since this awful thing happen to our family I am trying to bring everyone else down? Or is it something else? I don't know! And it is driving me nuts! UGH! I AM NOT THIS KIND OF PERSON!
To all my friends out there that I may have hurt and upset, please know that I am very, very sorry. I am sitting here typing this almost in tears. It hurts me so bad.
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2 comments:
you're forgiven. no worries here.
There is one who can replace your emotions with love, joy, peace. It takes times and faith on your part but YES it CAN happen!!! Anything is possible. We ALL struggle with anger, emotions, manipulating others through guilt, selfishness.... and then personal guilt because of all that...... but when we repent and ask forgiveness - it's a clean slate!! He will fill us up with the "fruits of the Spirit"
Really Dawn - when you spend time with Him. When you talk to Him. And replace His powerful Word with the words thd evil plants in your head --- the fruits of the Spirit will develop in you. It takes time - it's a lifelong process. But it beautiful and FREE-ing!!
The fruits of the Spirit are:
love
joy
peace
patience
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control
Love you!! :) Everybody from sunday school/small group has been asking about u. u should go even though james can't. they would love to see u I'm sure.
Hey Dawn.
Things happen sometimes that just cause you to look at yourself different. I have seen myself the same way before. For me, it just felt like sometimes everyone/everything was against me and it completely changed my attitude towards everyone. Eventually though, it passed, it got better. It took me awhile to ever begin to trust any of my friends again, but I did and things turned out okay. It's okay to get mad at people/things, that's part of being human. But I can promise that things will get better with time, it did with me and I'm sure it will with you too. If you ever want to talk, just call me.
Love ya,
Dawn
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