Why does the Devil always seem to find his way into our lives. My last post was about helping those in need out for the holidays and i was all set to help a family out. Then come to find out from others that were helping them too, that this family is a scam artist. They take the items people give to them for free and pawn the stuff off.
We are such good people, and I know God has a purpose for us, but it seems that here lately everytime we try to help people we always end getting bitten in the rear and wind up getting hurt. Now, thankfully, we hadn't given anything to this family yet, and just because this family is not truthful doesn't mean that other families are the same way. But I am starting to think that maybe I need to step back for a while.
I have been focusing so much on other people that I am forgetting myself. I don't even know who I am anymore. I am not a happy person, I am always sad and depressed. I just can't kick this thing... It irritates me so mcuh too because I am not usually an unhappy person. I love being happy and I love my life that the Lord has blessed me with. I just can't seem to pull myslef out of this black whole I am in.
Some days I wake up and I don't even want to get out of bed. Some days I just want to cry all day and other days I feel numb to everything. I think that if I can just make it until tomorrow, things will get better. But they don't. Between taking care of the house, my job, my family, and my faith I am losing myself even farther. And now i can't figure out how to get back.
I have been on this road now for sometime and I can feel a fork coming in the road where I am going to have to choose my path. But which do I take? And what does each path hold for me?
I am heading for an emotional breakdown and I am lost of what to do... Prayer is what people tell me but I don't even have the energy for that. BUT the one joy of my day is getting in the car and turning on the radio to listen to my Christian station. In those couple minutes that I am driving around I just feel joy... If I could only figure out how to incorporate the music in my life.
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- babyfordawn1983
- I am a 27 year old stay at home mother (FINALLY!) to two wonderful children, Carly Anastasia who is three and Logan Connor, who is 4 months.
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2 comments:
I will be praying for you Dawn. It's totally the devil. rebuke him and tell him you don't want anything to do with him and make sure he knows he has NO power.
Jesus doesn't make us feel guilty. He doesn't want us to be burdened with our compassion. He tells us to give our burdens to him. Prayer ya know can just be talking as you are working, can come in the form of cries (often for me) or whatever.... it's not meant to be a burden or ritual at all ya know...
Love ya, k? I'm here for you. God will be faithful and comfort you. Ask and you shall receive. Ask for faith, for strength, for rest, for relief from this darkness.
I know that pit --- we've all been there. there will be relief. sunshine always comes back out, k? keep on keeping on. love ya
and yes I believe it is a great thing to step back. Listen to the spirit who is nudging you to rest in Him. love ya! :)
Hey Dawn, I just wanted to give you a shoutout--I'm not religious at all, but I DO believe that if you do something out of the kindness of your heart, you will be blessed. For example, I have no problem whatsoever sticking a fist-full of the change I have out to the homeless guy on the corner. Yeah, so he may take that and run to the bar...that's his decision, not mine, you know?
If I judge every person on the corner as one who will take my money and run, what kind of person would that make me? I'd rather be optimistic and hope they choose to use my gift in the best way possible.
That does suck that the family is running a scam though...I'm glad you found that out beforehand.
Good luck with everything...I do understand the "if I can just get through today..." feeling. I always try and have something weekly and monthly to look forward to (and daily, if I can...even if it's a nice hot cup of hot chocolate or a trip out to the mailbox all by myself, lol, it's SOMETHING), so that there IS a reason to get through today.
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